Damn near seems that way. I fell for the girl of my dreams and lost her. I fell for my best friend who is straight. I love my next best friend and could easily spend my life with him. And I'm completely gaga about this guy I work with.
Since the days of the anonymous email, I have found a way to meet and get to know him. We played golf together on Sunday. I loved it. He is a truly beautiful guy. Really nice, very sporty and easy to get along with. And straight. And getting married next year.
He does not know it is me that sent the email. Maybe he suspects it somewhere. But happily we get along great.
I so want to be close to him. Dammit. Dammit Dammit.
In parallel, I'm fully aware that I seem to be falling for unavailable (straight) guys. And I've been chasing someone on an online dating site. To say that finding a normal guy or girl on a dating site is difficult is the mother of all understatements. But the only normal guy (it would seem) on Datingbuzz appears to be avoiding me.
So if you know anyone who fits the following profile, let me know:
Athletic - I had no idea this guy I'm gaga over was a sports achiever - turns out he was an age group SA wrestler and provincial tennis player. Must be something about his build and manner than gave that away.
Slim and strong - The guy I'm gaga over has these beautiful broad shoulders. My best friend has the best build I know.
Not a hunk - I don't fall for big hairy body builders. I seem to fall for the quietly strong, boyish types. Chad Micheal Murray types...
Imperfect achievers - guys who are not the obvious winner, but made it anyway.
Naturally pretty - can't stand overly made up women. I love natural ready to go girls.
Sporty - not necessarily girls who are sports stars, but certainly girls who like sports and are game.
Laid back and dressed up - girls who wear jeans but put on heels and a cocktail dress and blow a room away. Girls like Natalie Portman and Kiera Knightly.
Tall and slim - I'm 6'3". Girl's between 5'8" and 6' match me better.
Intelligent - I love chatting about everything from art to sport to economics to politics. I get bored of superficiality.
Sensitive - I like people who care about the world and others. Who listen more than they speak. Who stand up for those weaker than them.
Seems impossible to find.